The Christian Zebra

I haven't posted in a while, I really just haven't had the time to sit down and write. I've had lots of ideas, just no time to put into it. I decided I would try to sit down and give a little update on what has been happening in my life recently. If you follow me on Facebook you may have seen that I joined a Physical Therapy Study for hEDS being done at UCA. Unfortunately, I have only been able to participate in one exercise class so far. It was HARD work, but I really enjoyed it and look forward to being able to continue going once I have a reliable vehicle again. In the meantime, I have been trying to get more exercise on my own, by using some of the exercises I learned in that class and by walking. I don't know if anyone else can relate but it is so hard for me to get motivated to exercise by myself. Being able to participate in this study with others that have had similar issues and struggles is amazing! I hope I will have more to tell you about this study in a futu...

     Judgement, we’ve all been judged by someone at some point in time for some reason. We’ve all also passed judgement on others, whether you are willing to admit it or not, I’m sure you have. Those of us with chronic illnesses may see more judgement than some other people are privy to. In my life I have witnessed a lot of judgement. Judgement from Doctors that don’t have knowledge or experience with rare conditions. Judgement from peers and family who don’t know, and even some that have known, about the physical problems I’ve suffered. Judgement from people that only see the outside, they don’t see the pain, hear the racing, crazy thoughts depression can cause, the exhaustion that is always there no matter how much sleep you get, the fear of what the future will be for you.                                    I’ve seen others be unfairly judged by people that knew n...

The world is a mess. I'm sure at least most people can agree with that statement. This past year has changed so much in so many people's lives. I have seen so much fear and anxiety being spread like wild fires. It has taken every bit of strength I've had to keep myself from being consumed by anxiety and depression. I have struggled through all of the uncertainty that I have felt, the fear, the voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough and that things will not be okay. It has been a long road but I'm finally starting to live my truth. I will not let myself worry so much. I have faith. I know that it won't always be easy, but I will keep trying every day. This time last year I had so much hope. I was healing spiritually, physically, and mentally. I was volunteering at church and excited to see what else God would call me to do. It was all taking a toll on me, but it felt worth all the tiredness and extra aches and pains. Of course all of that was t...

    I started this blog to encourage people struggling with disabilities and/or depression. I want the people reading this to feel like they aren't alone. That there are people that understand You. I am struggling too, I want us to grow together. I will never claim to be perfect. I'm not called to be perfect. I'm called to be imperfect, help/love people, and always try to be better than I was yesterday.     I'm always going to be honest and real here. I haven't posted in awhile, because I have been struggling hard with depression. I've listened to the enemy's lies telling me I'm not good enough. That I won't help anyone. That no one will even read what I write. That I'm not in a position to pull people closer to God through this blog.      As I've said in previous posts I felt very led by God to do this. I felt like I had argued with Him about this for a long time. I would repeat all the lies the devil has told me. I can't do ...

       I've come to realize faith is extremely important when it comes to thriving in life. It's taken a very long time for me to really understand what that means. My faith is constantly being tested. I have bad days, as I'm sure every one else does too. Many nights my joints are sliding around as I move in my sleep waking me up. If it's not my shoulder, hip, back, or knee, I'm having muscle spasms/jumps (I call it restless body lol). I take medication to help but, most nights it doesn't seem to help. The next day I'm usually very sore and have no motivation.     During those nights it's hard to focus on God and remember to have faith. I can remind myself all day every day, but when I'm woken up with pain I'm not focused. In those moments I wonder why I have to live this way? Did I do something to cause this? Will my symptoms get worse as I get older?     When I catch myself asking these questions while awake and alert ...

    I started this blog because I felt led by God to do so. I have heard his voice telling me to share my story for a long time. I explained in my last post that even though i have heard God speak to me,  I haven't always listened. I have been trying to obey Him better.      After I quit working in daycare I put off seeing a Dr right a way, like I should have done. What actually happened was in March of 2018 I left the house to go get groceries and supper for that night. At this point you should know we live in a rural area. My son was 4 at the time asked to go with me, I thought it would be great to spend some one on one time together. I put him in the front seat in his booster seat, I knew better, we weren't going too far and I was creating a memory. As we're getting close to the end of our road I see my son playing with his seat belt, pulling his shoulder and lap belts out loose. I tell him he knows he must keep his seatbelt correct or I'll pull over and...

    I'll start by telling a little of my child hood. When I was very young, too young to remember, my brother was diagnosed with hyper mobile Ehlers Danlos after having surgery for an injury in gym class. Shortly after that, I believe, was my first shoulder dislocation. I have had wide spread pain in my joints and muscles for as long as i can remember. I was constantly terrified I was going to die for several years of elementary because I had terribly sharp pains in the middle of my chest. After running every test they could think of i was diagnosed with costochondritis, inflamation in the joints of my chest!     My mom was a great advocate for me. No one else seemed to understand, even family members living with this same condition. I've been accused of making up my pain, faking, over exaggerating, etc. There were times mom would doubt me too because it was so much and all the time. Although she and my siblings were all diagnosed my pain seemed to be worse. Eventua...