The world is a mess. I'm sure at least most people can agree with that statement. This past year has changed so much in so many people's lives. I have seen so much fear and anxiety being spread like wild fires. It has taken every bit of strength I've had to keep myself from being consumed by anxiety and depression. I have struggled through all of the uncertainty that I have felt, the fear, the voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough and that things will not be okay. It has been a long road but I'm finally starting to live my truth. I will not let myself worry so much. I have faith. I know that it won't always be easy, but I will keep trying every day.
This time last year I had so much hope. I was healing spiritually, physically, and mentally. I was volunteering at church and excited to see what else God would call me to do. It was all taking a toll on me, but it felt worth all the tiredness and extra aches and pains. Of course all of that was thrown off when the country shut down. I was no longer in church every Sunday. I wasn't volunteering any more. My husband wasn't able to work much at all. The kids and I really never left the house. My depression started to get worse and worse. I couldn't make myself do anything besides sleep or watch T.V.
After a couple of months I decided I had let this situation drag me down long enough. First I put a post on my personal Facebook page asking if any of the local women I know would be wiling to "mentor" me. I really just needed a friend. I really didn't have any luck with that. I think about a month went by before I decided to go a different route. This time I posted to a Facebook organizing group as well as a faith based women's group I follow. I explained my situation. I was a worn out mom struggling with depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and fatigue while trying to juggle the cleaning and caring for my family. I asked if anyone would want to be an accountability partner. Someone to help me make my self get up and do something every day. I was in a really bad place. I met a few amazing women by reaching out in that way. One of the women I met turned out to be a fellow Zebra (she also has EDS), she was also a Life Coach determined to help worn out moms just like me! She was looking for a couple of women to participate in and review her new program. I was so blessed to find her. She really helped me realize things that were affecting me from childhood that I had forgotten about or didn't realize were connected to my feelings as an adult. She helped me work through those things. She also helped me to realize I am enough (she even sent me a necklace to remind me I am LOL). That God has a plan and He does love me.
Things with the Life Coach were great, I think we worked together for three or four months before I completed her program. I would definitely recommend working with some sort of Life Coach or Therapist if you cam afford it. If you can't afford it you can reach out to your pastor or church members, family, friends, or even strangers online (be careful not to give out any personal info). You can even comment or message me I would love to be there for someone the way my Life Coach turned friend was for me. I know it is much harder to dig yourself out of the hole that depression, anxiety, chronic pain, etc can put you in when you're trying to do it alone. Having someone to keep you level helps so much. Someone to remind you God loves you. You are enough. If you are struggling with depression or anxiety please reach out for some support.
I really want to remind every one that even with all the crazy in the world we are called to have faith and to love people. It really is that simple. I know sometimes it doesn't seem very simple, but it really is. Faith alone will not make the anxiety or depression go away. Those thoughts will still come to you. The trick is to release them to God and know that even if it seems like the worst situation you could be in, remember God works all thing together for His Good. Maybe your heart ache, your pain, your failures happened so you can help lead someone in a similar situation closer to God. Or maybe your experience is meant to give someone else hope that they can move on, that they are worthy, that God loves them and knows them completely. Just as he does you.
As Christians we are not supposed to be of the world, we are supposed to be a light showing God's love and forgiveness to the world. We are called to be different. To not let the worries of the world become our worries. We have to remember God will take care of us as long as we let him. I know a lot of people in the United States have been very worried about the state of our countries government, no matter which side you are on. By letting the worry of what our country is coming to consume you, you are taking on the worries of the world. Our Bible is filled with stories of corrupted kings and governments that persecuted Christians. God always found a way for his people just as He will for us now. We may not know for sure what the world will bring us tomorrow, but we can know that with our eyes fixed on God we will be okay no matter what may happen. One day we will leave this world behind and all its problems won't matter to us. Why should they matter now? They shouldn't matter to us believers. What should matter is spreading God's love to others so maybe they will be saved and leave this awful, sinful world too.
I would like to end by quoting my church's mantra "Everyone needs Jesus, Everyone is our responsibility."
Let's show this world what can happen when you place your faith in God and stop living of the world.
Comments
Post a Comment