Encouragement

    I started this blog to encourage people struggling with disabilities and/or depression. I want the people reading this to feel like they aren't alone. That there are people that understand You. I am struggling too, I want us to grow together. I will never claim to be perfect. I'm not called to be perfect. I'm called to be imperfect, help/love people, and always try to be better than I was yesterday.

    I'm always going to be honest and real here. I haven't posted in awhile, because I have been struggling hard with depression. I've listened to the enemy's lies telling me I'm not good enough. That I won't help anyone. That no one will even read what I write. That I'm not in a position to pull people closer to God through this blog. 

    As I've said in previous posts I felt very led by God to do this. I felt like I had argued with Him about this for a long time. I would repeat all the lies the devil has told me. I can't do this. Why would anyone care what I have to say? How can I help anyone? Once I finally decided that I had to do this in order to be obedient to God. Once I started writing the enemy started attacking me even harder. I haven't done well with the added attacks. I was beginning to let him win. I will do my best not to allow that to happen again. With all of that said, I plan to keep the blog going as long as God is leading me to do so.

    Now, I would like to go into some of the things that have happened in the last 2 months. Of course the whole world knows of all the stress, isolation, and depression caused from social distancing for Covid 19. I'm sure I'm not alone in the added stresses, not just from social distancing during this time.

    At the beginning of the pandemic I was hired as a substitute teacher, which has been put on hold thanks to school closings. I was so excited to begin helping my family financially again. Teaching has always been something I'm good at and enjoy. Our financial situation was already needing help, now it's even more dire. I try my best not to worry too much, I know God has His arms wrapped around my family and He will provide all we need. Just as He has always done. It's a constant tug of war between me worrying and reminding myself of the truth, God has this!

    After diving into my depression hole for a bit, I realized I wasn't doing any good just sitting around being depressed. I downloaded a gratitude journal on my phone. I started making myself actually use it. I also realized I really needed some help. I do have a few friends, but because of my depression my confidence is awful and I hate leaving my house. I usually just sit home and keep my thoughts swirling around my own head. I'll message the friends I have to check on them when I'm going through a slump, but I have trouble opening up and talking to them about what I really feel. I decided something had to change. 

    I created 2 Facebook posts. One in a prayer group with some personal details and asked for prayers. The responses there did help, people told me God did not see me as the failure I feel like sometimes. Of course I already knew that but having it repeated by so many people really helped. The other post was on an organizing page, I just opened up and asked if anyone wanted to mentor me, and hold me accountable to help get my house and life under control. I made a few new messenger friends there, and best of all a consultant that offered to let me beta test her new program. She has been amazing! I'm still a work in progress, I always will be. In the 5 weeks we've been working together I have learned I can do more than I think I can. I've gotten several areas that desperately needed organized completed. The most important things she's help with is encouragement and motivation. She has been a friend and encourager. It is really important to have someone like that in your life. It can be a friend, family member, church member, therapist, etc. If you feel like you just don't have anyone to open up to contact me, I will listen without judgement and give any encouragements I can. 

    That's all for now, I hope my words have encouraged you to keep fighting for your happiness. That they've helped you remember God loves you! He created you! You have purpose! 

Stay Positive,

The Christian Zebra

    If you have an idea you'd like me to discuss in one of my posts let me know in the comments.